


Day 20: We Belong

by nilshki



Series: A Buckley-Diaz Christmas [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-16 05:18:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21502507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nilshki/pseuds/nilshki
Summary: Buddie Advent Calendar Prompt: Christopher Diaz' Christmas Wish
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Series: A Buckley-Diaz Christmas [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1557079
Comments: 20
Kudos: 228
Collections: 25 Days Of Buddie





	Day 20: We Belong

**Author's Note:**

> Title is "We Belong" by Pat Benatar. 
> 
> A billion and one thanks to [sibbed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sibbed/pseuds/sibbed), [dara3008](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dara3008/pseuds/dara3008), [stillifall](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stillifall/pseuds/stillifall), and [chelecheese](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chelecheese/pseuds/chelecheese) for beta reading, and correcting the Spanish because I know none, and giving me super helpful feedback and writing tweaks. This story is so much better because of you guys.
> 
> This is a companion story to Can't Fight This Feeling, just for the record. A lot of details make more sense if you read that first, but it's not strictly necessary.

Christopher sat at his desk in class, taking full advantage of the coloring time they had if they finished their math test early. 

He was drawing his family. He did that a lot nowadays. He missed his mom, and he wanted lots of drawings to remember her. He also wanted to have pictures of his family as it was now. In case things ever changed again, he would have a record of the people he loved right now. 

That included his Buck. He wasn’t sure how his dad felt about that. Most of the time, Dad was really happy when Christopher asked to hang out with Buck. Sometimes he seemed a little sad when Christopher mentioned Buck though. It was a weird expression really, not exactly sad? But definitely not happy. _It’s hard to know what Daddy is feeling sometimes._ Christopher resolved to ask about it when he got home. His dad had been telling him lately that he wanted to share everything with Christopher. And he wanted to help his dad - he knew a lot of things were going on that the adults weren’t telling him. But he was big now, and he wanted to help. 

His bisabuela picked him up from school today. She gave him a huge hug when she saw him and Christopher inhaled her scent. It was soft and sweet, just like her hugs. He loved it. 

“Well, m’hijo, how was school today?” she asked when they started driving. 

“It was great! I finished my test early, it was easy, and so I got to draw until class was over.”

“That’s wonderful cariño, what did you draw?”

“My whole family. I included Buck - do you think that’s okay Abuelita?”

She glanced at him in the rearview mirror. “Do you feel like Buck is part of your family?” 

Nodding vigorously, Chris started listing things off on his fingers. “Yes, he takes care of me when you or Daddy are working and Carla is off, he comes for dinner all the time and he always plays with me. And he saved me from all the water that day at the pier, and he always makes sure I’m okay. I love him, and I’m pretty sure he loves me too. That’s what makes a family, right?”

“You are absolutely right, m’hijo.” He saw her smiling broadly. “Buck is important to you, and if you think he’s family then he definitely belongs in your drawing.” Christopher grinned back broadly.

“Ahora, si tan solo tu padre fuera tan perspicaz como tú,” she muttered under her breath. 

“What does that mean, Abuelita?”

“I’ll tell you when you’re older.”

**

Dad came home later that evening, looking really tired. “Hi Daddy, how was your shift today?” Christopher asked, looking up from the puzzle he was doing on the living room floor. 

His dad came over and sat next to him, ruffling his hair. He smiled faintly. “It was a hard day buddy, I'm so glad to be home with you.”

“Was Buck on shift with you? Did he have a hard day also?” 

“Yeah, m’hijo, he did.” He hesitated, but continued when Christopher looked at him expectantly. “There was a kiddo in a pool that we had to save, and I think Buck took it pretty hard. But we talked at the station and he seemed okay.”

Christopher frowned. “Why didn’t you bring him home with you? I could have talked to him about it!”

His dad looked at him with an expression he couldn’t figure out. “He seemed much better at the end of the shift and said he wanted to go home. It’s late anyway, you guys wouldn’t have much time to hang out before your bedtime.”

The frown turned into an unhappy pout. “But what if Buck needs us?” 

“I told him to call if he needs us buddy, I made him promise he would. And we’re both off tomorrow so we can go check on him, okay?”

“Okay Daddy. Do you want to see the drawing I made in school today?” 

“Always, m’hijo.”

Christopher ran to get it from his backpack. “Will you explain it to me, bud?”

Christopher pointed at the people towards the back of the picture first. “We’re all in the park playing. There’s Abuela and Abuelo, and the tias and tios and cousins in Texas and New York and Miami. And mommy, next to them, because she’s also far away. And then Bisabuela and Tia, who are here in LA with us, that’s why they’re in the front with us. And me, and you, and Bucky.” He looked up at his dad when he finished. “What do you think Daddy?” His dad wasn’t smiling, which made Christopher nervous. But he didn’t seem mad.

“Are you sad because I put mommy in the back?”

Dad shook his head. “I mean,” he said, “I’m sad that she’s far away and can’t be with you, but that’s the right spot in the picture I think.” 

“Then what’s wrong?”

His dad looked confused. “There’s nothing wrong honey, it’s a beautiful drawing.” 

“But you aren’t smiling. You always smile at my pictures.”

Dad sighed. “I’m sorry m’hijo, that’s got nothing to do with you. I was just thinking about Buck again. You’re right, he should be here with us tonight. But it’s too late now, we’ll have to wait until tomorrow.” 

Christopher hesitated and then pulled the picture close to him. “You’re not upset that I...put him in our family drawing?”

To his surprise, his dad’s face turned a bit red, and he laughed. Christopher narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but Dad didn’t notice. “No buddy, I would never be upset about that. I know how you and Buck feel about each other, and I’m so happy he’s part of your life.” 

“Our life, Daddy.”

His dad’s smile got bigger and he brought Christopher in for a hug. “Our life, buddy.”

**

Later that night, Christopher lay awake thinking. His dad had gotten Buck for the station’s secret Santa, and they had spent a lot of time working on his gift before Christopher’s bedtime. He had drawn another picture, this one for Buck. He wanted to show him that he loved him, so it was going to be his Christmas present from Christopher. His dad had assured him Buck would like it, but he was still nervous. He knew Buck loved him, but what if he felt uncomfortable that he wasn’t an “official” member of the family? 

They would have to see at Christmas. Buck was going to come over Christmas Eve. But before that, Dad and Buck were taking him to see Santa again. He was still thinking about the best thing to ask, but he was pretty sure he had it down. He just had a question for Abuelita first. 

Two days later, she was the one watching him until Dad and Buck got home from work, before going to Santa’s Village. So it was the perfect time to talk to her. 

“Hey Abuelita? Can I talk to you about something?” 

She looked over at him, concerned. “It’s nothing bad, I just wanted to ask you something.”

“Of course cariño, come sit with me.” He climbed onto the couch and looked right at her. 

“Abuelita, I know sometimes grown-ups fall in love with each other, right? Like you and my bisabuelo? And Bobby and Athena and Maddie and Chimney. And Hen and Karen.”

“Yes, m’hijo. Very lucky people are able to find someone who they can build a life with. Why do you ask?” 

“Well, I know Mommy and Daddy fell in love, Daddy told me so. And then they stopped, and then Mommy died. Can someone fall in love twice?”

She looked a little sad and placed an arm around him, pulling Christopher close. “People can fall in love many times, baby boy. It’s one of the amazing things about the human heart - it’s big enough for so much and so many kinds of love.” 

“And what about...two boys? I know Hen and Karen are both girls and I know they are in love. But I don’t know any couples that are two boys. Can that happen?”

His Abuelita gave him a strange look, but she was smiling. “Of course it’s possible. People can find love in any place, in any person.” 

“Even if before that they fell in love with a girl?”

She nodded solemnly, squeezing him gently. “Absolutely Christopher. But why are you asking, querido?”

“Do you think my Daddy loves my Buck? Not just like I love Buck, but the way he loved Mommy? Because he always has this weird smile when he talks about Buck, and he agrees with me that Buck is part of our family. So I don’t know why Buck is still just Daddy’s friend, when he could really be our family.”

Abuelita sighed and put her hand on his cheek. “There are lots of possibilities Christopher, feelings are complicated sometimes, especially with people we love. I think your Dad is very, very much in love with Evan. But I don’t know if he realizes quite how much yet. It’s also possible that he and Evan have talked about it and decided it’s better not to do anything about it. Or maybe Evan loves you boys like family but isn’t in love with your Daddy.”

Christopher was stricken. “You don’t think Buck loves Daddy back?”

“No, no - cariño, that’s not what I meant. When I see Evan, I see his eyes full of love, when he looks at you and your daddy. But he’s never told me how he felt, so we can’t assume anything. We have to think of all of the possibilities, you understand, m’hijo?”

He nodded. “I understand, but Abuelita? If they love each other, why are they not together the way other people who love each other are?” 

“Sometimes it takes a while for people to realize that things are the same for both of them.”

“Well, I know what I’m going to ask Santa for my Christmas wish now.”

**

Christopher had had the best time at Santa’s Village. He’d went up to Santa by himself, and then his Dad had gone to get them Christmas candy. While he was gone, Buck and Christopher had been sitting on a bench playing Slaps.

At some point, one of the elves had come over and started talking to Buck. Buck seemed really excited and a little embarrassed to see her, and for a second Christopher worried that he had feelings for this woman, not for Dad. 

But the next thing the elf said was, “I know I told you last year, but your son is still so adorable. Can I introduce myself?” 

“Of course,” Buck said, and Christopher felt warm and tingly inside. _He didn’t say I wasn’t his son!_

“Christopher,” continued Buck, “This is Blair, she works here with Santa. Blair, this is Christopher, the cutie himself.” Christopher smiled and shook Blair’s hand. His Dad came back just then, and more introductions were made. _Dad also didn’t correct Blair when she assumed we were a family._

It was one of the best nights Christopher had in a while. He told his Dad that as he tucked him in. “I’m glad you had a good time, m’hijo,” Dad smiled.

“Daddy, can I ask you a question?”

“Anything Christopher, you know that.” He climbed into the bed and tucked Christopher under his arm. “What’s up?”

“Daddy, do you love Buck?” 

Without hesitation, his Dad hummed in confirmation. “Of course, he’s my best friend.”

“No Daddy, I mean do you _love_ him. The way you used to love Mommy?”

Christopher felt him tense up, and then sigh. “Christopher, look at me. You know I’ll always love your Mom, it just turned into a different kind of love? And no one could ever replace the relationship I had with her or the beautiful time we had with her.”

“Of course I know that, Daddy. I’m not worried about that. I want to know how you feel now - about Buck.”

His Dad searched his face for another minute, then smiled. “You’re amazing kid, you know that?” 

“Daaadddd, you didn’t answer me.” 

“Alright, alright, give me a break! The answer is yes, Christopher. I’m in love with Buck. He’s one of my favorite people in the world.”

“Abuelita said that people who are lucky get to build a life with the person they love. Dad, I want Buck to be in our life. Have you told him?”

His dad looked a little embarrassed. “You know, I haven’t. Sometimes, Christopher, it’s hard to tell people how you feel. Especially when you are really close with them and you’re scared of doing something that will change your relationship.”

“You’re scared to talk to Buck? But he loves us, you don’t need to be scared.”

“I know buddy, I’m just worried he doesn’t love me the same way I love him.”

“Well you won’t know unless you ask, you always tell me that, don’t you?” Christopher smiled his best innocent smile, and Dad laughed and ruffled his hair. 

“You are absolutely right, m’hijo. What do you think about me talking to him on Christmas? Well, the two of us talking to him together?”

“That sounds awesome! I know, we can make it part of his Secret Santa Christmas gifts!” Christopher exclaimed. His dad laughed. “That’s actually a great idea buddy. Looks like I have another note to write!”

**

Christopher had never been happier in his life. He was snuggled up on the couch between his dad and his Buck, eating chocolate chip pancakes and watching The Polar Express. 

And he couldn’t see, but he knew that behind him, Buck and Dad were holding hands. Every time he looked at one of them, they were staring at the other, smiling like dopes. He was sure he had the same smile. His Christmas wish had come true. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed reading about these fluffy boys as much as I enjoyed writing them!
> 
> "Ahora, si tan solo tu padre fuera tan perspicaz como tú." - "Now, if only your father was as insightful as you are."
> 
> Again, a huge thanks to my beta readers for the help with Spanish so that I can do the Diaz family justice.


End file.
